Understandings

“Know peace, no violence.” Eden Steele

         In today’s world of immediate gratification and advanced technologies our students are becoming less inclined to communicate and solve problems. Parents want to keep their children in an impermeable bubble and fix every little thing that comes along. In doing this, I fear that children today are not learning the valuable lessons that come with encountering conflicts and possible failures. Not only do many children not know how to solve problems, they have no desire to do so. They simply want life to go their way and have all their problems solved for them. As a kindergarten teacher, I am in a perfect position to counter this thought process. I want to teach students the art of conflict resolution to become a productive member of our school community.
          In a study on the importance of integrated conflict resolution Heydenberk said, “The creation of conflict resolution programs in American schools has been the primary attempt to curb violence and antisocial behavior in our classrooms” (2005, p. 431). Time has passed, technologies have advanced, standards have increased, pressures have mounted, and the available hours left in the day for teaching communication and resolution skills have decreased, thus leading to our current predicament. Students can feel frustrated and are unsure and uninformed about the best ways to express themselves and make their voices heard. We need to teach our students the fundamentals of how to interact with others in a peaceful and positive way. 
         Conflict resolution (CR) was my main focus through this action research project.  However, I needed to define what a conflict resolution program entails? According to Heydenberk, “comprehensive conflict resolution programs require students to engage in social communication strategies such as active listening, paraphrasing, brainstorming, questioning for clarity, and the development of affective vocabulary. In a comprehensive conflict resolution program, these strategies are embedded in the curriculum and practiced throughout the day” (2005, p. 432).
          The majority of CR programs incorporate most or all of the following principles: recognizing and reflecting on your own thoughts and feelings, acknowledging and respecting the thoughts and feelings of others, communicating, cooperating and problem solving. The goal of conflict resolution programs is to help people learn to work together, and in doing, counteract violence and negativity.
         According to the researchers of Project WIN, “In 1960, Larry Apsey described a theoretical aptitude called transforming power, which, he asserted, could help people transform violent, competitive, destructive situations into constructive, cooperative ones” (2007, pg. 2). This is the ultimate goal of a conflict resolution program. Students need to learn to “transform” their thoughts from violence/negative to peaceful/positive. They learn those skills in a comprehensive CR program. These skills include active listening, restating others’ views, and communicating in a non-aggressive manner to reach a solution.
         The questions I now come to are: What will my students need to be successful in a conflict resolution program? Where are the areas that they need the most support? What are they able to do already? How can I incorporate a valuable CR program into my daily schedule and make it meaningful and relevant to the rest of the curriculum? Through my research I have found many different conflict resolution programs. Every one has valid points and worth-while pieces but I was not sold on any one in particular.
         I found that I needed to pull from several sources to create a tailor-made conflict resolution program. Community building and conflict resolution programs like Caring Schools Community, TRIBES, Project WIN, Wise Words, and Peace Patrol have similar beliefs and lessons but I loved taking the best lessons and ideas from each one to make a “Super Program.” I believed that to align with our Charter I also needed to have student input and ownership. I wanted my students to control the pace and needs of the program we were to implement. I wanted it to be on our terms and not on another’s pacing guide. Over the last few months of research I designed a CR program that works in my school setting for my students. 


A Community of Problem Solvers through Conflict Resolution
          A community of problem solvers where students have decision-making power and confidence in their ability to solve problems independently takes time and consistency to create. In the process of implementing a CR program in my classroom I must first establish an environment that is safe, secure, and welcoming. I wanted to allow students the freedom to make mistakes without the fear of how their peers or I would react.
         Social Interdependence theory provides me with some hints on how to do this. The authors of Project WIN write, “Social interdependence theory posits that ideal conditions for constructive conflict resolution exist when (a) there is a cooperative environment and (b) the disputants are skilled in negotiation strategies” (Roberts, L. Yeomans, P. and Ferro-Almeida, S., 2007, pg. 2) In other words, social interdependence theory focuses on creating a safe learning environment for students while teaching them important skills needed to work well with others. Johnson and Johnson describe the connection between social interdependence theory and cooperative learning by stating that, “Unskilled group members cannot cooperate effectively. Effective cooperation is based on skilled teamwork as well as on task work. Students, therefore, must be taught the interpersonal and small-group skills needed for high-quality cooperation and be motivated to use them” (2009, pg. 369). I plan on following Johnson and Johnson’s model by helping my students get to know and trust each other, communicate accurately and unambiguously, accept and support each other, and resolve conflicts constructively.
         Through my research I have found that all CR programs believe that to be a successful problem solver one must be self-aware, cooperate with others, have positive communication skills and most importantly, have a safe environment in which to practice resolving conflicts. According to the authors of the Evaluation of the 2006-2007 Students’ Creative Response to Conflict Program, “Students can feel safe expressing their ideas to promote interaction by opening the channels of communication” (Yungbluth, S.C., 2008, p. 4). In other words, once students feel safe in their environment they can begin the dialogue of conflict resolution that I hope will lead to increased self-awareness, cooperation and communication. These are areas that I intend to focus on and cultivate in my classroom and that I discuss below.

Picture
Being Self-Aware
          To be a good problem solver, you must first know yourself. You are an important piece of any conflict and vital to its successful resolution. Through my research, I have learned that most conflict resolution programs start with yourself: knowing what part you took in the conflict, how you feel about the situation, and what outcomes you would like to see. Before you can peacefully solve a problem with another person or a group you have to look inside. Once you can successfully verbalize your feelings, needs, and wants to another then the next phase of CR can happen. According to Brault and Brault, “First acknowledge what you are feeling. Only then can you take ownership of your emotions and begin to understand them” (2005, pg. 75). You have to recognize your own feelings, clarify your own thoughts, and identify the problem from your own prospective. Then you can move through the resolution process smoothly. It takes a lot of practice and many role-playing activities for students to start beginning to reflect internally. Children are naturally impulsive and it is easy for them to react without thinking thoroughly. Teaching students to be self-aware while acknowledging and accepting of other’s perspective will be challenging but I believe that kindergartners are capable. 

Picture
Cooperation as a vehicle for Conflict Resolution
          Brault and Brault remind us, “A person is not the problem, the problem is the problem” (2005, pg. 76). Students need to remember that even if they are having a disagreement with a friend the most important thing is that they still are friends. We must work together to solve conflicts peacefully. If only one side is taken into consideration it goes without saying that the other party is left feeling dejected and unimportant. In my classroom if there is a conflict that cannot be solved without interference from the teacher I will let all parties speak to give their perspective. There are no interruptions and everyone gets a chance to contribute. We go through the conflict step by step piecing together the truth of how it came to be. True cooperation takes time and patience, but the skills that students gain from working with others are invaluable. This is especially important given that cooperative learning is used in schools and universities throughout the world in almost every subject area (Johnson & Johnson, 2009).
         While we work through any conflict I remind my students that they must “keep in mind the strengths of each person, the relationships, and the needs of each person” (Brault & Brault, 2005, p. 76). That way they are learning to see things from the other person’s point of view. Truth be told, this is a very difficult task because they are young and many may not be developmentally ready for such an advanced way of thinking. However, it is a start and I am able to build and expand on that idea all year long.
         One of the most challenging aspects of any type of cooperative situation is understanding the importance of the differences between people while also, recognizing that we are interdependent and celebrating the similarities. I want my students to show pride in their individuality while showing respect for other’s differences. According to S.C. Yungbluth (2008), cooperation develops a sense of “we-ness.” I couldn’t agree more. I want to build an environment that students have a vested stake in, where they feel a powerful bond of friendship and trust. With that trust comes endless possibilities where cooperating and collaborating are part of any academic lesson, so that when a social conflict needs to be resolved they are willing to participate. The
Primary Peacemakers remind us that the spirit of cooperation is “not working on something together but working together on something” (2002). 
Picture
Communication to Create a Solution
          The researchers that designed Project WIN (2007) believed that it was important for students to learn to communicate their thoughts and feelings and not simply accuse the other participants. To that end, they encouraged students to use “I” messages rather than “you” messages in moments of conflict to create a less threatening environment. An example of a “you” statement a student might use would be: “You cut in line!”  As you can see, that is not a respectful way to inform another student about a mistake they made. An example of an “I” statement that could be used instead would be: “I am standing waiting for the teacher, we can make a line together.” The simple change in the wording of a statement can have a huge effect on the outcomes of the conflict. The change that was made in the delivery of the statement above will have a decidedly different effect on how the student receiving the message will react. It sets the tone for a more peaceful interaction between students.
         In my room, I always want my students to use “nice” words to each other and we are constantly practicing and rephrasing things to sound respectful and empathetic. Communication is the tool that is the single most important part of conflict resolution. Tone of voice, body language, and words all have equal roles and set the stage for a peaceful solution.
         In most conflict resolution programs, students are also taught to communicate by summarizing and restating what others say. They learn to not alter it by personal feelings and to speak in a non-threatening way. This teaches them to think about how the other person is feeling in a given situation. Students use confident but caring speaking voice and appropriate eye contact while communicating. In using these communication strategies, I hope that my students will learn to be empathetic of others. I want them to develop the ability to listen patiently to others, recognize their feelings, and state problems in a clear and concise manner. 
         It is my goal to see my students relating in an authentically, peaceful way with each other.  This doesn’t mean that they ignore potential conflicts or suppress their feelings. Peaceful communication encourages the expression of feelings and teaches students to look for nonverbal cues that might signal a possible conflict. These nonverbal would cues might be a sad or angry face, arms crossed, pouting or crying. If they can identify a possible problem before it happens, my hope is that they can learn to avoid conflicts or address them before they escalate. 

Picture